The Truth Shall Set You Free....

~sitting down at the table, a warm blood in front of me opening the diary to that night...needing those words again, falling into the memory easily as if I were reliving it~

I hadn't been sitting there long when he walked in. I watched him from the darkened corner of the bar, knowing by his scent that he was demon. I'd know that scent anywhere. I'd been crying into my blood over Severus again that night, missing him beyond that which words could describe.

But there was something about the dark haired man that made me want to know him better. I watched as he scanned the room, his eyes resting on me and I smiled. Taking it as an invitation, he crossed the crowded bar and sat across from me without waiting for an invitation.

We made small talk for a while before I simply stated that I had to go and he offered me a ride home. It just so happened that I'd run to Shreveport that night so I accepted without hesitation. Though I would have even if I had driven.

I wanted this man, wanted him in ways I couldn't fully comprehend. I quickly suggested the cottage since I couldn't really take him home to my husband. The cottage had served me well during my trysts with the other demon and so we hurried there.

~the memory of his touch, the way his kiss rocked me to my core, how I still could get weak from just one kiss to this day wash over me and I think of all the times we met there. How those nights that Severus was gone I would welcome Chance into my bed, my arms, my heart. I closed the journal, lost in my own thoughts now.~

I was living two lives then. Those nights with Severus were happy and I loved him so much that I couldn't fathom hurting him but when he left, it was as if another person emerged. When Chance called, I couldn't resist. It was strong, this pull he had on me. I found myself wanting him more and more. I had no choice but to lie, deceive the ones I loved. I had to be the perfect wife and mother they expected. And I did want my life with Severus. I wanted it all. The marriage, the family but I craved the freedom I felt with Chance. I craved the way he made me feel, how he never made me feel less than I was. He never left me the way Severus did. He never broke my heart with his words or actions.

While I never fully trusted my husband, I trusted Chance. I trusted that he would never let me fall, that he'd always have my back. Soon, I would have a choice to make, one we discussed at length, making the choice that would serve us best. The plan had been laid out before us and I was living it. But it was all a lie. Everything I promised him, I longed to promise another.

Soon the truth will emerge. Soon the world will know what we've done and why. Their reactions will not matter. Only one. Only HIS. Soon he will know why it had to happen this way. Soon I will have no option but to explain it all. I only hope he forgives me for what I've done.